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Chapter 14 Communicating Comfort and Support

There are many different ways to communicate social support to others. Through a variety of verbal and nonverbal messages, people can provide support that is more or less engaged and focuses on addressing emotions or actions. Offering effective support requires perspective-taking and unfolds through conversational patterns between partners. Whether helping someone process the news of a cancer diagnosis or grieve the death of a loved one, supportive communication can provide important resources, improve people’s emotional state, bolster self-confidence, or connect people with other sources of help. This chapter describes the characteristics and patterns of comforting communication, examines the features of support for consequential stressors, and offers recommendations for improving the communication of support and comfort.

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The theory of conversationally-induced reappraisal is based on the notion that people feel stressed or experience distress and negative emotions because of how they are thinking about a situation. While it would be great if people could change their circumstances, that isn’t always an option (if you’re stressed about an exam, you usually can’t make the exam disappear). When eliminating a stressor isn’t feasible, you might be able to cope or feel better by reappraising the stressor in less distressing ways. For example, you might think about how hard you studied for this test, the things you can do to prepare, or remind yourself that one exam won’t determine your whole future. Changing how you see a situation can be hard on your own, and the theory of conversationally-induced reappraisal suggests that conversations with other people can help you. Thus, this theory focused on how supportive interactions change people’s appraisal of a stressful situation so as to improve negative emotions. The theory claims that conversation facilitates cognitive reappraisal because it provides a space for distressed individuals to elaborate and explore their feelings, perspectives, and experiences. In the process of describing a problematic situation, people may be led to modify their goals, perceptions of the situation, and coping options. For example, Jones and Wirtz (2006) found that distressed individuals’ verbalization of positive emotions during a supportive interaction led to cognitive reappraisal, which in turn improved their emotional state. Similarly, Afifi and colleagues (2019) observed that support providers who encouraged a friend to positively reframe the stressor were able to help reduce anxiety and negative thoughts. This theory, and the research testing it, suggests that people can cope with difficult circumstances by seeing their problem in a less negative light through interpersonal communication with other people.

References and other suggested readings:

Afifi, T. D., Merrill, A., Davis, S., Denes, A., & Coveleski, S. (2019). The impact of a need for closure and support quality on verbal and cognitive brooding. Communication Research, 46(6), 757-784.https://doi.org/10.1177/0093650216644018
Burleson, B. R., & Goldsmith, D. J. (1998). How the comforting process works: Alleviating emotional distress through conversationally induced reappraisals. In P. A. Andersen, & L. K. Guerrero (Eds.), Handbook of communication and emotion (pp. 245-280). San Diego, CA: Academic Press.
Cannava, K., & Bodie, G. D. (2017). Language use and style matching in supportive conversations between strangers and friends. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 34(4), 467-485.https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407516641222
Holmstrom, A. J. (2015). Emotional appraisal/reappraisal in social support. In C. R. Berger & M. E. Roloff (Eds.), International encyclopedia of interpersonal communication. https://doi.org/10.1002/9781118540190.wbeic058
Jones, S. M., & Wirtz, J. (2006). How does the comforting process work? An empirical test of an appraisal-based model of comforting. Human Communication Research, 32(3), 217-243.https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1468-2958.2006.00274.x

Multiple factors influence the outcomes of supportive interaction, including the content of the message (e.g., how appropriate, sensitive, and helpful the message is), characteristics of the helper (e.g., gender, credibility, relationship to the support recipient), the interactional context (e.g., physical setting, medium, the problem situation itself), and features of the recipient (e.g., personality traits, cognitive abilities). The dual process model of supportive communication provides a framework to understand how different elements of supportive interactions work together to affect support recipients’ thinking, emotions, and behaviors. The model suggests that the amount of thought people give to supportive interaction influences support outcomes. When people are motivated and able to think about the support they receive, the quality of the support content matters a great deal. But, if people don’t put much effort into processing social support, other heuristic cues play a more important role in supportive interaction, such as the attractiveness of the helper or the type of relationship between the helper and recipient. The model suggests that people are likely to experience long-lasting positive changes in emotion and behavior when they carefully process high-quality supportive messages (e.g., feeling less sad about the loss of a beloved pet). Temporary positive changes in emotion and behavior can occur when people rely on environmental cues in the situation to process social support (e.g., the presence of a close friend makes you feel better briefly). In general, this model provides useful guidelines for support provision. If you perceive that a friend is capable of thoughtfully processing information, offering longer and complex messages may be more effective than simple and short messages. In contrast, under conditions when a friend cannot carefully absorb information, giving short and straightforward supportive messages or simply being there may be just as helpful.

References and other suggested readings:

Bodie, G. D., & Jones, A. C. (2015). Dual-process theory of supportive message outcomes. In C. R. Berger & M. E. Roloff (Eds.), International encyclopedia of interpersonal communication. https://doi.org/10.1002/9781118540190.wbeic044
Bodie, G. D., Burleson, B. R., Holmstrom, A. J., McCullough, J. D., Rack, J. J., Hanasono, L. K., & Rosier, J. G. (2011). Effects of cognitive complexity and emotional upset on processing supportive messages: Two tests of a dual-process theory of supportive communication outcomes. Human Communication Research, 37(3),350-376. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1468-2958.2011.01405.x
Bodie, G. D., & MacGeorge, E. L. (2014). Supportive communication theories: Dual-process theory of supportive message outcomes and advice response theory. In D. O. Braithwaite & P. Schrodt (Eds.), Engaging theories in interpersonal communication: Multiple perspectives (2nd Ed., pp. 129-141). Sage.
Burleson, B. R. (2009). Understanding the outcomes of supportive communication: A dual-process approach. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 26(1),21-38. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407509105519
Burleson, B. R. (2010). Explaining recipient responses to supportive messages: Development and tests of a dual-process theory. In S. W. Smith & S. R. Wilson (Eds.), New directions in interpersonal communication research (pp. 159-179). Sage.

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Selected Writings by Communication Studies majors at California State Prison

Los Angeles County, City of Lancaster

In the fall of 2016, the Department of Communication Studies at California State University, Los Angeles, began offering classes inside a maximum security prison facility to offer incarcerated persons the opportunity to achieve a bachelor’s degree in Communication. In spring of 2017, selected assignments and essays produced by those students in response to prompts from this textbook were published in Colloquy: A Journal of the Department of Communication Studies, California State University, Los Angeles. In the time since, the program created The Prison BA Journal to share the students’ work with others. In addition, collaboration between the Lancaster State Prison’s Communication Studies students and students in Cal State LA’s Animation Option brought to life student essays through animation and narration.

Dr. Kamran Afary, faculty advisor to the program and Assistant Professor of Social Justice Communication, describes the impact of learning about interpersonal communication on his students: “I have seen its life transforming effect on my students in their interpersonal relationships with each other and in repairing relationships with their families.” Through the generosity of the program, we can share their work with all students learning from this textbook.

This website shares reflections and animations created in response to Pause and Reflect prompts, organized by chapter, as well as selected essays, poems, and presentations that address other topics or course assignments. Here is just a sample of what you will find: https://vimeo.com/showcase/7155653

We hope you will take the time to learn about interpersonal communication through the words of these students: https://www.prisonbajournal.org/ipccompanion