Script
Characters:
The crab couple: Herschel and Evelyn
Pirate Captain
Theme:
A good deed is still a good deed, even the best of intentions lead to the worst results.
“Our intentions may be very good. But because the intelligence is limited, the action may turn out to be a mistake – a mistake, but not necessarily a sin, for a sin comes out of wrong intention.” Dr. E. Stanley Jones, Methodist missionary.
Premise:
A pirate has been buried up to his neck in the sand by his mutinous crew and left to die. Wrongly believing that the pirate is a squid, two crabs try to help him.
FADE IN.
EXT. EARLY MORNING ON THE BEACH OF A DESERTED ISLAND
The beach is littered with empty rum bottles, broken sword blades, scattered gold doubloons, and a few shovels. Buried up to his neck in the sand is a bearded pirate captain, left to die by his mutinous crew.
The pirate’s beard is braided or in dreadlocks giving it the appearance of several separate tentacles:
PIRATE
Aye! So this is how it ends! Argh!(Pirate groans and passes out face first into the sand.)
The wind begins to blow covering him lightly with sand, camouflaging his humanness. The crabs spot him and scurry into the scene to see if he is okay:
EVELYN
(Climbing onto his head)The poor thing!
HERSCHEL
(Picking up a braid/tentacle)Is it alive?
EVELYN
(Checking his condition)Yes! But he’s drying out!
Worried, Evelyn scampers down the back of the head and returns with a partially filled bottle of rum, which she pours on the pirate’s head:
PIRATE
(Momentarily regaining consciousness)Arrrgh! Not the rum…!
EVELYN
(Panicking)He’s not going to last long. We’ve got to get him back to the water.
HERSCHEL
(Snapping into action, he grabs a “tentacle”)Pull!
PIRATE
Groan!
Evelyn scampers down off the head to help! She looks for something to grab onto. She grabs a nose ring and pulls. She pulls it completely out of the nose and tumbles backwards. She looks at the ring, then at the pirate and declares:
EVELYN
We have to hurry! He’s falling apart!
HERSCHEL
Pull!!!!!!
EVELYN
(Looking at the nose ring)I’ll push!
Evelyn disappears behind the pirate head.
Evelyn has been trying to push from behind. She scampers back on top of the pirate’s head:
EVELYN
It’s not working. What do we do?
Herschel begins to pull with all his might. As he does so the traction from his feet begins to dig a trench in the sand:
EVELYN
(pointing)Gasp! Herschel!
Herschel stops, wondering what Evelyn has seen. He looks at the trench, then at the sea, then back at Evelyn:
HERSCHEL
Oh yeah! I gotcha!
The crabs scurry down, disappearing behind the head of the pirate:
PIRATE
Good riddance, you scurvy little sand rats…
They reappear digging a trench around him. The pirate now also sees the trench:
PIRATE
Aye! They’s digging me out! Holy Jehoshaphat! Keep going! Yeah! Yeah!
The crabs dig around him, but then head out toward the sea.
PIRATE
Hey, where are you going? Keep digging’ me out.
Suddenly the pirate’s eyes widen and he screams:
PIRATE
AYYYYYYYY!
PIRATE’S POV
Water is rushing up the trench.
It wipes the screen.
DISSOLVE TO:
EXT. ON TOP OF THE PIRATE’S HEAD[em]SUNSET
The top of the pirate’s head is just breaking out of a pool of water. On top of the head sit the two crabs:
HERSCHEL
How is he doing?
Bubbles break the surface of the water. Pop. Pop...pop…pop…pop.
EVELYN
(Patting the top of the pirate’s head)Good. He’s going to be just fine now.
HERSCHEL
Oh! He looks much happier under water.
EVELYN
He sure does.
HERSCHEL
Digging that trench was such a good idea. You’re a genius.
EVELYN
We did a good thing!
FADE OUT.
Text comes up on the screen:Aye! So this is how it ends!
ROLL CREDITS